results for career success

Let’s Talk: How to Get Better at Accepting Criticism

Learning to Approach Feedback as a Way to Grow
Filed Under > Everyday

Let's Talk: Getting better at accepting criticism, Waiting on Martha
I’ve alway struggled with accepting criticism.  I wish I could say otherwise.  For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a people-pleaser, and I have always taken things way too personally whenever criticism is shared.  

When I started my professional career, I was eager-to-please and felt I needed to prove myself.  I still remember my first personal evaluation, and how I sobbed on the way home.  I read every piece of feedback as a personal attack, feeling defensive and downright frustrated.  

Of course, a little maturity and some years of experience have strengthened my shell.  But the truth of the matter is that hearing criticism will never be fun for me.  Jobs in both Public Relations and now as an editorial director for a blog…well, those are two roles that are dependent on people’s opinions.  Even reading the reader survey results (thank you again for taking the time to share your two cents!) wasn’t easy for me.  I think I held my breath the entire time reading through all of your feedback!  But while it was difficult, it was extremely helpful.

I’m now a firm believer that accepting criticism is so important for personal and professional growth.  I’ve read articles about it (on Entrepreneur and Forbes to start), but I’ve also decided on the three main things that help me face the feedback: 

Solicit feedback before it needs to be dumped on you
I’ve found that asking how you can improve is the best way to take control of the situation.  This way, you’re not backed into a corner with scathing comments or reviews. You’re able to approach the feedback with a proactive stance, which also allows more time for you to process the results.  It’s the worst thing ever to hear surprisingly negative feedback when you’re least expecting it.  And when you solicit feedback on your own terms, you can ask your manager/supervisor for specific variables that you can work towards. 

Consider how you’d feel as the manager
In the few short recent years, I’ve begun to manage people below me.  And wow, it’s definitely not a walk in the park when you’ve got a long to-do list and a full inbox.  But being a manager has led me to understand bigger picture of how the company needs to run.  I’m now able to detach myself from being “the victim”, and instead I put myself in a supervisor’s shoes.  

Change your outlook
Simply put, you should always be growing as a professional.  Criticism is just part of the process. I know that I tend to take things too personally when I hear I’ve done something wrong or need to improve upon something.  But rather than beating myself up with self-criticism (seriously, I am my own worst enemy most of the time), I’ve challenged myself to approach the situation with a new outlook.  I remind myself that everyone’s going to make mistakes…but I ask myself, how can I learn from mine?  And everyone has strengths and weaknesses…but how am I using mine to be an even better version of myself tomorrow? 

Tell me, have you struggled with accepting criticism?  How do you deal with receiving (or dishing!) feedback?  I’d really love to know any tips or things you’ve learned.  Cheers, Kat

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Featured image, Fashion and Style

The Week in Review // 9

MUST-READ LINKS, NOTED BY THE WOM TEAM
Filed Under > Everyday

final-theweekinreview9

1 // Now this would be our kind of dermatology visit.  Part-doctor’s office.  Part spa.  Part beauty boutique.  And with an offering of One Love Organics products, we’d be in heaven!  

2 // I wrote down these three simple, yet so great, happiness tips from one of the world’s oldest (and cutest) yogis. 

3 // MG this Van Gogh-inspired pool is amazing. 

4 // “The ups and downs that your career will take you on can teach and refine you as an individual … if you let them.”  I thought a lot about these three ways to maintain excellence in the workplace, thanks to this great post by Create & Cultivate

5 // On Thursday, I headed to Tybee Island + Savannah with a fun little Southern C crew!  Follow along on Instagram all weekend, and be sure to tweet us any recs we have to see/do. 

6 // Lulu Frost’s new zodiac collection is MAJOR.  It’s some Libra’s birthday coming up…#justsaying

7 // You really don’t have to twist our arm!  But these 11 scientifically reasons to drink more coffee have us reaching for another cup of jo. 

8 // For decades, Americans have been encouraged to reduce their fat intake.  This has led to an increase in low-fat, high-sugar foods that some experts are now blaming for obesity.  Now, it’s come out that the sugar industry paid scientists in the 1960s to downplay the cause-and-effect between sugar and heart disease, and instead blame saturated fat.  More reason to drink my Bulletproof Coffee, I say. 

9 // We can’t help but be intrigued with Mandy Moore’s return to screen in NBC’s new drama ‘This is Us.’ 

10 // This 90-second trick has the potential to get rid of your anxiety, stat. 

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5 Things I Wish I Would Have Known Before Becoming an Entrepreneur

The Things People Don't Tell You About Running Your Own Business
Filed Under > 5 Things

View More: http://rusticwhitephotography.pass.us/waitingonmartha

Entrepreneurism is not for the weak of heart.  And while yes sometimes becoming an entrepreneur is a well thought out, strategic plan, I’ve found in talking to other entrepreneurs, most of the time it just happens to you.  It happens usually in a combustion of curiosity, desperation, frustration and passion; or at least that’s how it happened to me.

To be honest, I fell and then very reluctantly, jumped head first into entrepreneurism (read more about my journey HERE).  I didn’t really think about what an entrepreneur actually meant.  What it would mean to run my own blog, an e-commerce boutique and a design and consulting division.  I didn’t think about the accountability and responsibility it would take day to day to lead a team, not to mention to succeed. You’ll find a lot of entrepreneur success stories, and you’ll read a lot of advice pieces.  But what you can’t seem to  find are the not-so-glamorous learnings from an entrepreneur that’s knee-deep in it.  And the emotional side of it all?  Well, that’s not ever talked about…like ever. 

So today I thought I’d rectify that and share five things I wish I had known before becoming an entrepreneur.   I hope this serves as a helpful collection of thought-provoking points, but more importantly I hope that this reaches all of the entrepreneurs out there that need to hear it.  Because, together, we know that the struggle is real and the more we talk about and share our experiences the better we will be because of it. Truly, MKR

NO. 1… As an entrepreneur, you’re responsible for every single decision.  I repeat EVERY SINGLE DECISION.  From the smallest, most trivial questions to the craziest, largest things…you’re the one that calls the ultimate shot.  Which at first sounds fun especially for Type A’s like me, but becomes an immense amount of pressure quite quickly, because let’s be honest one person can never have all the answers.  TAKEAWAY:  Surround yourself with employees and people that you trust to take some of the pressure off.  Even in the beginning when you may not have employees friends, family, and other entrepreneurs can make great sounding boards especially when it comes to the big make or break decisions.  And ask questions, like I said no one has all the answers so don’t be afraid to ask lots and lots of questions.

NO. 2… Only fellow entrepreneurs will understand what it’s like to be an entrepreneur.  I’m not being exclusionary to anyone else hustling everyday but a CEO, COO, Vice President, etc., etc…they don’t have skin in the game like you do as a Founder.  If the biz they work for goes under, they will find a new job, if your biz goes under…well let’s just say it’s not that easy.  TAKEAWAY:  As an entrepreneur, it’s crucial to find a group of fellow entrepreneurs for mentoring, support, and questions you have along the way.  I’m in the process of joining an entrepreneurs-only group that meets monthly, and am actively involved with the founders of The Southern Coterie, as well as numerous other creative entrepreneurs in the Atlanta area.  Don’t have an already established entrepreneurial group in your area?  Start one yourself; think coffee and cocktails with a side of help and support whenever needed.  And if you’re just beginning a great FREE resource is Score Mentors.

NO. 3…You’ll be kept up at night with the constant question of what’s next, what can you improve, what can you do to succeed, etc.  A friend of mine, who’s also an entrepreneur, said it best, “it’s not my kids that keep me up at night—it’s my business.”  And I can fully see how that would be the case.  As an entrepreneur, the livelihood of everyone on your team depends on you, and that burden will never, ever go away.  You also can’t leave your own business at the door like you can with a corporate job…it will ALWAYS follow you home and consume you at all hours.  Personally, the question of scaling a business, knowing what growth really means (and that bigger isn’t always better), and all in all staying close to our mission statement and passion in everything we do is what keeps me up at night.  And I know those questions may change but as an entrepreneur they will never go away.  TAKEAWAY:  Learn to enjoy that you have this burden to carry.  Practice meditation.  And try to unplug at night best you can.  Wish I could provide more “answers” but I’m still struggling with this one friends.

NO. 4…Founders depression is real.  I didn’t have a name for it before I read this spot-on article from Create & Cultivate about founder’s depression, and it was a breath of fresh air.  No one ever talks about the self-doubt that comes with owning a business, so to know that other entrepreneur’s struggle with the same constant question…are you happier than before BLANK (before you left your job, before you grew, before you invested more money, before you expanded, etc. etc.)?  The blank will always change, but the main question will not.  It’s a serious question, and before starting WOM I would have balked at the thought.  Of course I would be happier being my own boss, making my own hours, being able to be creative every day.  But on the long days—when everything seems to be crashing down, and you’re responsible for all of it—it’s hard not to consider turning it all back in for the 9-to-5 you can leave at the door.  TAKEAWAY:  Talk to others, be open and honest about the good AND the bad and don’t make any rash decisions in the heat of the moment.  We all have bad days, bad weeks, heck bad months, but that which does not kill you (or rather make you throw in the towel) will inevitably make you stronger.

NO. 5…Don’t compare your middle to someone else’s end.  It’s really easy, especially in this digital world we live in, to play the comparison game.  Just don’t.  It will NEVER, ever make you feel better or more importantly it will never help you grow your business.  We all have our own path, so be patient, don’t take shortcuts, and stay authentic.  And above all else remember being entrepreneur is pretty damn amazing! TAKEAWAY: It’s about the journey not the destination

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Photography, Rustic White for Waiting on Martha

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