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Let’s Talk: Stop Undermining Yourself

An Eye-Opening Discussion About the Power of Our Words
Filed Under > Everyday

How to stop undermining yourself via Waiting on Martha #letstalk

Saying that you’re sorry when you haven’t done anything wrong gives the impression you don’t value yourself,” executive coach Laura Camacho recently told our friends at The Southern Coterie. “You can’t expect others to value what you clearly do not.” 

I welcomed a slew of intentional resolutions this year, including perhaps my favorite: stop saying sorry. Thanks to attention on the topic in the past few months, I’ve recognized—like so many other women—my frustratingly common habit of saying “sorry” when I was anything but.  But another word that’s equally undermining? “Just.” 

Thinking about how I can stop undermining myself in everyday speech in important to me, as it should be to all of the future lady bosses out there too. It’s crazy how a few simple words can completely change the tone and overall effect of my message.

“It’s not what we’re saying that’s the problem, it’s what we’re not saying. The sorrys are taking up airtime that should be used for making logical, declarative statements, expressing opinions and relaying accurate impressions of what we want.” author Sloane Crosley writes for The New York Times

So how can you stop undermining yourself? Remove “sorry” and “just” from your vocabulary. Camacho suggests swapping “sorry” for “excuse me,” which I think is very doable… just takes some practice.  In order to strengthen your communication skills, think about how you’re using undermining words in both speech and in writing. After inspection of my own emails, I quickly realized how much I play down my ideas and opinions especially in writing. “I think” always undermines something that I have a strong basis to know to be true, thus weakening my message. 

But it looks like many people are realizing emails to be the minefields they are for counter-productive words.  To our great delight, Create & Cultivate recently introduced us to a new gmail plug-in called Just Not Sorry that literally underlines any words or phrases considered ineffective and possibly undermining. I downloaded the chrome plug-in and took the pledge to be better communicator. 

Another big step to stop undermining myself and stop saying sorry is writing this piece.  Addressing this bad habit helped me become aware of a small, yet crucial, step that I want to take to become a better professional in the new year.  Tell me, do you catch yourself undermining yourself with your speech?  Cheers, Kat

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Let’s Talk about Entitlement in the Workplace

Wondering Where Hard Work and Professional Humility Have Gone
Filed Under > Let's Talk

Entitlement in the work place

Upon hearing the Olsen twin’s response to (or rather, their shut down of) their recent intern lawsuit the other day, I fell down a rabbit hole reading about not only unpaid internships, but about entitlement in the workplace in general.  Being only a few years fresh into the paid-working world and newly managing projects myself, I knew this was a discussion I wanted to dig into, and one that hit pretty close to home. 

I began to wonder, in a world where participation trophies and extreme nepotism are becoming the norm, whatever happened to the idea of working for your place to kickstart your career? Internship lawsuits are being filed left and right against fashion designers, magazine publishers and the like, and with those filings come questions from all sides about work expectations of the younger generation in their attempts to gain footing in the workplace.

A very interesting excerpt from Richard Kirshenbaum’s book (which I urge you to read) Isn’t That Rich?: Life Among the 1 Percent,” only fueled my food for thought.  Kirshenbaum addresses entitlement found amount young people looking to land an internship or entry-level job simply because they believe that they deserve it (an epidemic that is not just rampant among the 1 percent). 

“Entitlement is a contagious, insidious state of mind that has infected a whole generation of young people who feel they deserve things based on who they think they are or who their parents are, ” writes Kirshenbaum in his book.  “Or who they’ve been told they are. Entitlement also affects adults, who feel they should have or get things based on their friends having them or just feeling worthy.” 

Kirshenbaum recognizes that many young adults have the “idea that the world exists for them and owes them what they want when they want it.” 

This topic is not only interesting but relevant to me.  A mere five years ago, I began to put in my due-time running errands around town and answering phones at a handful of competitive internships (paid and unpaid) and then went on to do more for my entry-level job at a leading firm. I logged hours with data entry, I coordinated business meeting times (and messed that up too often to count) and I took notes and compiled presentations for supervisors. All of this work, though not my favorite, helped shape me into a communications professional that could hold my own in future positions in my career. Momentary frustrations about being at the bottom of the food chain were to be expected, but in the end, I learned my place in the company and understood the importance of humility and motivation in my career. 

Though I got through the menial errands and mindless work, like so many others my age and younger, I admit that I sometimes felt fleeting tinges of entitlement too.  It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you just deserve that raise or promotion, as we’ve been taught to “lean in” and stand up for ourselves in professional environments. We think we’re being proactive and driven, when in fact it comes across as arrogant and entitled. Sometimes, we just need to put our heads down and hustle. 

My hope is that in place of future complaints and lawsuits, the younger generation can focus their energy on understanding how to succeed in an internship and learn professional humility to do what it takes to get the job done. Understanding that this work will only serve them in the long run, providing invaluable lessons, and making that hard-earned success down the road that much sweeter.

But let’s talk about it!  I’d love to hear your thoughts about entitlement in the workplace too.  This post is intended to serve as food for thought, and I understand some specific situations regarding unpaid internships and entitlement deserve additional attention.  Cheers, Kat

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Why You Should Consider A HIIT Workout

5 Reasons to Incorporate Strength Training into Your Fitness Routine
Filed Under > Let's Talk

A few weeks ago, when I started ClassPass, I introduced strength training into my workout routine. Before that, I’ll admit that I had fallen into a rut with my fitness routine. I definitely wasn’t pushing myself to my reach my own potential during each gym sesh. Sure, I clocked time on the treadmill and I hit the mat for some ab-work, but none of it was truly as challenging as I know I can handle. And you may remember, I ran my first half-marathon this past year, and I’m no gym-fanatic. 

But then I started strength training. And the thrill of an HIIT workout is maybe the best of all the various workouts I’ve tried thus far. HIIT, which stands for High Intensity Interval Training, is short (like 30-45 minutes-short) and man, it’s hard.  Each workout is different, and it’s usually organized in short stations (which can be as short as four minutes) designed to strengthen specific muscle groups while your heart rate is high.  I’m talking burpees, lunges, planks, etc.  It’s effective and efficient; it makes you feel like a boss as you clear box jumps and throw around a kettle bell…all during a quick lunch break. 

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IT'S MORE EFFICIENT

IT'S MORE EFFICIENT

“YOU DO SO MUCH WORK IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME,” EXPLAINS KATE.

“YOUR HEART RATE IS HIGHER. YOUR MUSCLES ARE DOING MORE WORK. THEY’RE ENGAGING IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS: STABILITY, STRENGTH, ENDURANCE AND POWER! YOU’RE BURNING MORE CALORIES. YOU’RE SWEATING MORE. YOU’RE JUST WORKING HARDER!”

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VIA INSTAGRAM, @LINDSEYCALLA
IT'S EASIER MENTALLY

IT'S EASIER MENTALLY

“THINK ABOUT RUNNING ON A TREADMILL FOR 6 MILES,” SAYS KATE.

“THAT COULD TAKE UP TO AN HOUR OR EVEN MORE! AND IT’S JUST ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER. MENTALLY, THAT’S DIFFICULT. IT’S HARD FOR YOU TO STAY FOCUSED IN THAT AND KEEP GOING. THE MINUTE YOUR MIND WANDERS AND STARTS TO THINK ABOUT HOW BORED YOU ARE, THE MINUTE YOUR RUN IS OVER. YOU’VE LOST IT.

HIIT, ON THE OTHER HAND, IS EASIER TO KEEP UP WITH BECAUSE YOUR BRAIN GETS TO KEEP SWITCHING FROM ONE ACTIVITY TO ANOTHER.”

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VIA SKINNY MS
IT'S MORE HELPFUL IN EVERYDAY LIFE

IT'S MORE HELPFUL IN EVERYDAY LIFE

“WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU ‘ELLIPTCALED’ IN REAL LIFE?” ASKS KATE.

“I KNOW THE ELLIPTICAL HAS ALL SORTS OF BENEFITS, BUT IF YOU DON’T HAVE BAD KNEES AND YOU’RE RELATIVELY ABLE-BODIED, YOU SHOULD DITCH THE ELLIPTICAL AND DO SOMETHING YOU’LL USE IN EVERYDAY LIFE. SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO JUMP OVER SOMETHING. HIIT TRAINING HELPS YOU WITH THAT.”

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VIA INSTAGRAM, @CALIABYCARRIE
IT DOESN'T LAST AS LONG

IT DOESN'T LAST AS LONG

“HAVE 30-45 MINUTES? YES. OF COURSE YOU DO. MAKE TIME,” SAYS KATE.

"HIIT WORKOUTS DON’T HAVE TO BE DONE FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR BECAUSE YOU ARE WORKING SO HARD BUILDING STRENGTH, ENDURANCE AND POWER ALL AT THE SAME TIME. GONE ARE THE DAYS OF LONG STRETCHES ON THE TREADMILL FOLLOWED BY ISOLATED MUSCLE MOVEMENTS.”

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VIA INSTAGRAM, @LULULEMON
YOU'LL BURN MORE CALORIES DURING (AND AFTER) THE WORKOUT

YOU'LL BURN MORE CALORIES DURING (AND AFTER) THE WORKOUT

“HIIT WORKOUTS ARE QUICK AND HARD,” EXPLAINS KATE. “JUST THINK HOW MUCH ENERGY IT TAKES FOR YOUR BODY TO WORK LIKE THAT COMPARED TO JOGGING.

SO WHAT’S THIS ABOUT BURNING CALORIES AFTER YOU’RE DONE WORKING OUT? YOUR MUSCLES ARE GETTING STRONGER, ERGO YOUR RESTING METABOLIC RATE IS GOING TO BE HIGHER.”

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VIA SELF

Featured image, Rebecca Brown for Lucy

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