Let’s Talk: How to Get Better at Accepting Criticism

I’ve alway struggled with accepting criticism.  I wish I could say otherwise.  For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a people-pleaser, and I have always taken things way too personally whenever criticism is shared.  

When I started my professional career, I was eager-to-please and felt I needed to prove myself.  I still remember my first personal evaluation, and how I sobbed on the way home.  I read every piece of feedback as a personal attack, feeling defensive and downright frustrated.  

Of course, a little maturity and some years of experience have strengthened my shell.  But the truth of the matter is that hearing criticism will never be fun for me.  Jobs in both Public Relations and now as an editorial director for a blog…well, those are two roles that are dependent on people’s opinions.  Even reading the reader survey results (thank you again for taking the time to share your two cents!) wasn’t easy for me.  I think I held my breath the entire time reading through all of your feedback!  But while it was difficult, it was extremely helpful.

I’m now a firm believer that accepting criticism is so important for personal and professional growth.  I’ve read articles about it (on Entrepreneur and Forbes to start), but I’ve also decided on the three main things that help me face the feedback: 

Solicit feedback before it needs to be dumped on you
I’ve found that asking how you can improve is the best way to take control of the situation.  This way, you’re not backed into a corner with scathing comments or reviews. You’re able to approach the feedback with a proactive stance, which also allows more time for you to process the results.  It’s the worst thing ever to hear surprisingly negative feedback when you’re least expecting it.  And when you solicit feedback on your own terms, you can ask your manager/supervisor for specific variables that you can work towards. 

Consider how you’d feel as the manager
In the few short recent years, I’ve begun to manage people below me.  And wow, it’s definitely not a walk in the park when you’ve got a long to-do list and a full inbox.  But being a manager has led me to understand bigger picture of how the company needs to run.  I’m now able to detach myself from being “the victim”, and instead I put myself in a supervisor’s shoes.  

Change your outlook
Simply put, you should always be growing as a professional.  Criticism is just part of the process. I know that I tend to take things too personally when I hear I’ve done something wrong or need to improve upon something.  But rather than beating myself up with self-criticism (seriously, I am my own worst enemy most of the time), I’ve challenged myself to approach the situation with a new outlook.  I remind myself that everyone’s going to make mistakes…but I ask myself, how can I learn from mine?  And everyone has strengths and weaknesses…but how am I using mine to be an even better version of myself tomorrow? 

Tell me, have you struggled with accepting criticism?  How do you deal with receiving (or dishing!) feedback?  I’d really love to know any tips or things you’ve learned.  Cheers, Kat